Fear....

Stressful fear..

Rotten Apples,
twisting your insides,
peeling away,
Your outward Facade.

Bloodied Ice,
clinging to your bones,
unable to move,
Unable to Stop.

Poisonous Snakes,
running through you,
spinning the world,
Tearing you Down.

My whole self,
is against me,
No way to fight it,
I must succumb to the Dark.

I wrote that so I can honestly say that it's not the best poem in the world... But that's what fear means to me...

Anyway a random thought that popped into my head:
Fears don't find you, you find fears.

Cleaning and Dancing..?

Well.. Seems I've found an interest in dance.. Not a big interest, but I've decided to try and learn a few moves... :P (my co-ordination seems to be working against me in this...)
So now I'm cleaning up the whole flat and trying to practice "gliding" while I'm at it...
All I've got to go on is a web video (the link is somewhere in here......), it's pretty informative on the basics of "gliding/sliding".. :) http://www.videojug.com/webvideo/how-to-glide-when-dancing
Anyway I best get back to my cleaning... and dancing... :P I've got lots to do! :/
Bye......

...Burying Myself...

Well my grandparents have come over from SA, for 4 weeks, which I'm really happy about... I would probably feel more happy and comfortable being around my family if they'd stop nagging me about learning to drive... They don't seem to understand that when I'm inside a car it scares me, even when I'm not the one driving...
Anyway... I guess everythings getting to me at home now as well because I'm reading even more than usual or find myself writing all day long, getting lost in everything that isn't painful to me... Yesterday I focussed completely on a book I've just started writing that it went from being 7 am to 4.30 pm in the blink of an eye and then I read a book from 5 pm till 1 am, unable to get to sleep as usual...
I'm so stressed out all the time that; even when they're not on my case, I cannot feel at peace...
I don't know what I'm supposed to say to any of them! When I try to explain myself they either don't hear or say I'm making up excuses... When I don't speak they think I'm sulking, when I do they ignore me!

I know they all want the best for me but why can't they just let me be? I'm stressed enough about trying to find a job, I don't need all the other stuff on top!
They all want me to be 'normal', to get a job, drive a car, dress like a "proper girl" and have a boyfriend, (though one of them has suggested a girlfriend to which I calmly stated I'm not that way)... They expect so much from me but they don't even care to understand me or my view of it all...
I want to be an author but I can't get anything to work or feel right because I've got pressure coming in from everyside about everything!

I just want to be ME!
Can't they see that?